I feel really dumb just writing this and being on this website but whatever, it's just a challenge I'll have to face and get over.
I really struggle with sharing/uploading my art, I'd rather die than even show my closest friends what i'm up to and i don't think that's right. I wasn't always like this, because heck when i was 14/15 i'd use this site every bloody day
and take commissions like they were nothing
I'm 80% sure it's because I've had some major success online (oh my god i feel a mong for just typing that) but I genuinely do have thousands of people trying to find/contact me and it's rather overwhelming when i just wanna live on my own little personal island where there are no expectations or people prying into the shit i do. I need a space to learn and grow and I've even somehow had some random fan find even THIS account through fucking Flight Rising so like what the hell do i even do anymore.
When i made my nexus account in late 2015 I made the mistake of using the same name of the one i used for my old deviantart account when i was 15 (because you know. it's not like flocks of people would download my mods or anything)
and it created so many unwanted ties when the mods i published blew up and made my account just a case of joining the dots, i spent so long purging and hiding everything from people who knew how to google search, ah you wouldn't even know.
Regardless, i'm straining to make myself share my art. Submit it to groups. Talk to people about theirs. I'm gonna make this place somewhere nice and positive for me to want to come and maybe even make friends along the way. I want get better and i will never if i resent even uploading, let alone sharing and talking about my art.
Maybe when i'm more confident in the future I might even bring these two worlds together, but I'm very far away from being ready to do that right now.